As a kid, I knew exactly what brought me joy! It was playing baseball. The game was magical to me. I loved everything about it: the uniforms, the equipment, even the dimension of the field. I loved the strategy of each pitch. I love to watch the Major league players who had become my heroes for their amazing ability to play this magical game.
When I wasn’t paying baseball I was day-dreaming about baseball, reading books and articles about baseball. I would walk with my friends to 7-Eleven to buy baseball cards and baseball trading cups. I would buy baseball magazines so I could cut out the pictures and put them up on my bedroom wall.
I remember waking up on summer mornings so full of excitement! I could hardly wait to get outside and start a game.
Baseball resonated with me and there was a magical, joyful feeling that flowed through me when I played it. I knew I was born to play baseball.
No one ever had to motivate me to play baseball! My desire to play flowed as effortlessly as breathing. When I was playing baseball it was as if time didn’t exist, I never checked the time to see when I needed to quit. It required no effort, no hard work and there was no pressure, no stress, just pure joy!
My disconnection from resonance
I grew up in a very normal, happy family. And to this day we are all very close and love each other deeply. My parents were loving and generous people who also happened to be extremely talented and high achieving people. My Dad was gifted in athletics and business, while my mother was a gifted singer.
If there was a challenge in my growing up with this “perfect” family it was, ironically, perfectionism. Somewhere during those early years, I accepted the belief that I had to live up my parent’s abilities and accomplishments. I believed that I HAD to excel, in the same way, and at the same things they did, in order to be worthy of love and acceptance.
Along the way I came to the conclusion that there were only two standards of performance: perfection or failure, there was no middle ground. This caused me to drive myself very hard and to put a lot of internal pressure on myself. In doing so, I became my own harsh judge.
So by the time I reached high school the inner pressure of perfectionism had me completely disconnected from my earlier, pure love of baseball. The passion that had once resonated so strongly, had been whittled away, one perfectionistic piece at a time. I had become terrified of not living up to my own perfectionistic ideals, no longer playing for the joy of the game, but instead trying to avoid failing, because failure, of any kind, was not an option. What could I do but try even harder, which brought on more stress and anxiety.
My first year of high school I was chosen for one of the lower teams, but in the first game, my tension was so high that I made two errors and struck out three times. In my mind, this was completely unacceptable, and I sunk into a feeling of despair I had never before experienced.
When I tried out the next year I was so anxious to prove myself, and so fearful of making a mistake, that I could hardly function. Baseball was no longer an “effortless flow.”
In college, I did what I felt I “should” do by pursuing a major in business, which brought no joy or passion. In fact, it caused me great anxiety and when I didn’t excel in my school work I experienced frustration and discouragement.
When I graduated, I followed my Dad’s footsteps and went into sales. By now I was completely disconnected from what brought me joy, and was completely without a dream or passion in my life. I was just doing what I thought “I should” do.
Of course, I took on my sales career with the same perfectionistic mindset. I definitely had an “outside-in” focus, needing the recognition, bonus checks and awards that are typical people having to be motivated to do something they aren’t inspired by.
Under the stress of trying to be high-performer, in something I didn’t love, I began having panic attacks and severe depression. Somehow I continued in sales for another 25 years, all the time driving myself, and continuing to battle anxiety. Eventually an obsessive compulsive disorder began to take over and I hit the wall. I knew there had to be something more. I had reached the point of emotional and spiritual bankruptcy.
I was also headed toward financial bankruptcy because the anxiety I felt kept me trapped in limiting beliefs and financial abundance seemed to elude me in spite of how hard I was working.
It all changed one Sunday afternoon as I was in my bedroom praying. On my knees, by now truly desperate, something seemed to subtly shift and a gentle message poked through my despair: I got the impression that we needed to move to Utah where my father-in-law worked as a personal success coach for the Professional Education Institute, a company that helps clients all over the world move closer to their dreams and passions
My Reconnection to Resonance
It was while I was working there that I had the opportunity of meeting best-selling author Jack Canfield. He spoke to the employees, and in his presentation, he took us through a meditation exercise designed to help us connect with our “Highest Good.” This simple exercise had a life-changing effect on me. For years I had an inner desire to become an author myself. I had started and stopped several times in my efforts to write a book. As Jack spoke to us that day, something amazing took place inside of me that caused powerful emotions to resonate. I know now that these feelings that resonated so powerfully inside of me where calling me to my “Divine Purpose,” calling me to live the joy that was designed for my life.
This experience has caused me to ask myself, “What if everything I’ve believed about success is wrong?”
What if true success is a measure of how happy I am? Is it possible that “true success” is intended to be less effortful? What if true success is less about effort and more about allowing?
I’ve come to learn that “True success” is the result of inspired action that “flows” naturally and effortlessly as a result of compelling dreams and passions. It involves actions that are so joyful and effortless that they cause you to lose track of time. Once you’ve experienced the resonance I’m describing, you’ll know that inspired actions do not feel like work at all.
Download my FREE report “What if Everything Your Believe about Success is Wrong?” at http://www.principlesofdivinepurpose.com/ and follow me at https://www.facebook.com/7PrinciplesOfDivinePurpose?fref=ts